Friends keep telling you to go outside? Skip the sunlight, the bugs, and the small talk. TouchGrass™ delivers 100% of the advice with 0% of the effort — without ever leaving this tab.
NO SPF NEEDEDZERO POLLENWI-FI COMPATIBLEPATENT PENDING™*
🌱 … touches logged (real, across everyone here)🦟 0 bugs encountered☀️ 0.00mg Vitamin D synthesized🧦 100% of users remained in socks🌱 … touches logged (real, across everyone here)🦟 0 bugs encountered☀️ 0.00mg Vitamin D synthesized🧦 100% of users remained in socks
Your Personal Patch of Grass
Move your cursor over it. Click it. It will not judge you for being inside.
Grass Touched: 0
0.00mg
Vitamin D
47
Bugs Avoided
0%
Grass Authenticity
Certificate of Outdoor Achievement
Awarded by the Department of Simulated Wellness
This certifies that the above person has virtually touched grass
0 time(s) as of ,
while remaining fully indoors, seated, and screen-adjacent.
OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIAL
What People Are Reluctantly Saying
"I told my son to touch grass. He sent me this website instead. I am so, so tired."
— Someone's Mom
"Finally, a lawn that doesn't require me to locate my shoes."
— A Guy in a Desk Chair Since 2019
"9 out of 10 dermatologists have no comment, because this does nothing for your skin."